We have all heard about emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the capability of individuals to recognize their own emotions and those of others, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior, and manage and/or adjust emotions to adapt to environments or achieve one's goals.Emotional control is similar to emotional intelligence. Once you can understand your emotions, you can learn to control them. The ability to stay calm and make the adjustments necessary to successful living comes down to simple self-control. When you can control your emotions and reactions, you can better control outcomes and results. As Chuck Swindoll says, “Life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it.”Emotional control is a skill leaders need to successfully lead their employees. People with emotional control consciously choose appropriate emotions for any given situation, avoiding expressing extreme or negative emotions during times of pressure. Reacting shows you are controlled by others; responding says you are in control. Nothing saps the team’s energy more than panic, overreaction, and negative emotions expressed inappropriately.Well-known and very successful football coach Urban Meyer calls emotional control the “R Factor.” E + R = O (Event + Response = Outcome) He says, “We don’t control the events in life and we don’t directly control the outcomes. But we always have control over how we choose to respond.”Speaking from his wealth of experience, Myers says, “Simply stated, Big E’s and Big O’s require Big Rs.” He teaches six R factor disciplines he teaches to players:Press Pause – This gives you time to think, get off autopilot and having instinctive reactions, avoid doing something foolish or harmful, and focus on acting with purposeGet Your Mind Right – What you focus on, how you talk to yourself is vital. Do you have a productive or a negative mindset? An irritated mindset or survival mindset or a Purpose mindset?Step Up – Make certain to understand the situation and understand what is required of you, and make certain you are responding in a healthy, above the line manner.Adjust & Adapt – Consider current path of your R Factor habits. Answer honestly. Where are your habits taking you? Where do you want to go? Is your current manner of behaving likely to get you to your desired outcomes?Make a Difference – Take complete ownership of the experience you give others and your contribution to the team’s culture. The way you response and interact creates the culture of the company.Build Your Skill – Elite performers build skill above their talents. Talent is a gift, but greatness is a choice. You can’t control what was given you at the start, but you can control how much you grow and how well-developed you become. It depends on your emotional control.Emotional intelligence and emotional control are knowing yourself and controlling yourself. You can’t lead yourself or others well without them.
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